Men, this is not the time to ‘TALK’ | Sayo Aluko

Man 1:

Those of you generalizing and saying all men are this and all men are that, are just stupid. Asking men to lend their voice against rape as if all men are rapists, and castigating the stance of men shows how dumb you are. You saying ‘all men are potential rapists until proven otherwise…’ is just plain dumb. You are merely barking against logic. I won’t allow myself to feel bad for what some other man has done. You just love to mob men. Do you even know some women rape men? Do you know that men men men….

Man 2:

I have been falsely accused of Rape before and I know how deeply hurting and maddening that feeling is. No one deserves that kind of experience, suffering and enduring hate for what you didn’t do. That experience taught me about the need to thoroughly address the pile of unaddressed injustices regarding the serious issue of Rape, because, leaving it unaddressed makes the monster out of all of us, male and female. This isn’t the time to apportion prejudice about which gender is more to blame. No, what we must rather do, is talk up solutions for this society, honestly focus on fixing men from cradle too, and have very honest conversations about gender roles to this ill.


There’s been an ongoing epidemic of rape and another ill we easily overlook – the almost permanent incidence of sexual molestation and the mannish entitlement to HAVE the woman. And, instead of deploying the lenses of honesty to face this ESTABLISHED monster right now, some of my fellow men are using this same sensitive moment to handpick platitudes along the lines of #MenMatter.

Well, it is sad that one needs to spell this out; however, here goes – So no, even when a generalization is repeatedly mentioned and blared from rooftops in a heated moment like this one where dicks are killing dreams, we all know it doesn’t decry the fact that there are good men out there. We all know it isn’t said to court needless arguments about gender. We all know it isn’t said to warp an established truth about the existence of normal men.

We all know….wait, apparently, we all DON’T know, and that is why a charge that is meant to be uniform and united towards a fitting reprieve against this chronic carnal crime, is being sadly blotted and distracted by chatter over #MenMatter.

And about the proponents of this side talk, about these ones asking people to apportion attention to a transient rash (men matter) while a raging tumor (rape and its precursors) needs ALL of this same attention, I have this to say:

I think fortune, or grace, has a blind spot; and this blindspot is what I’ll love to call the arrogance of apathy. 

I think this is what makes it ‘okay’ for anyone who has been fortunate enough to never become a victim of this ill, to choose this same time to pick beans over gender banalities and get offended over generalized statements. It’s a silent arrogance I strongly believe breeds from apathy.

I mean, if you really get offended by generalized statements right now, right in the middle of a very dire and serious moment where lives are being shattered via established body robbery, you need to check yourself.

It is just the wrongest time to pick this #MenMatter fight. And it makes the real pain rise in del.

Man 1 or Man 2??? Proverbs 18 vs 2.

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